rationalism. But my questions were not answered and my honest doubts
were rebuked, so that I was naturally driven out of sympathy with the
church and Bible, since I judged that my doubts could not be
satisfied because religion itself is unreasonable.

Through the kindness of Christian people the way opened to prepare
myself for the ministry. But by this time many religious doubts and
perplexities were in the way, and I decided that I would a thousand
times rather be an honest doubter out of the church and ministry than
a hypocrite in it. Thus my fond hope of entering the ministry had to
be given up, and instead I determined to use the teaching profession
as a stepping-stone to law, and law as a means of serving humanity.

I was very fond of study, and read scores of books on all kinds of
subjects. Emerson was my favorite, and I procured and read his
complete works. Gibbon and Macaulay were eagerly read as revealing
some of the religious life of the world. Ingersoll, with many others,
got his turn. But the book that produced the greatest effect on my
life at this time was Fleetwood's "Life of Christ," with a short
history of the different religious bodies of the world attached.
Through my reading and observations I became greatly perplexed over
the religious divisions of the world. I discovered that thousands of
people had died as martyrs for all kinds of religions and sects, and
that each claimed to have the truth and to teach the right way to
heaven. I concluded that since they teach such contradictory
doctrines they cannot possibly all be right, although they might all
be wrong. I formed a desire to make a thorough study of all the
different religious bodies of the world, to find out where the truth
is, if there is any in religion. My first information along this line
was obtained in the above-named history of the religious bodies of