"I should be happy indeed if the book brought in anything," said my
father, evidently fascinated; "for that young gentleman is rather
expensive. And you, my dear Jack,--perhaps half the sum may be of use
to you!"

"To me! my dear brother," cried Uncle Jack "to me! Why when my new
speculation has succeeded, I shall be a millionnaire!"

"Have you a new speculation, uncle?" said I, anxiously. "What is it?"

"Mum!" said my uncle, putting his finger to his lip, and looking all
round the room; "Mum! Mum!"

Pisistratus.--"A Grand National Company for blowing up both Houses of
Parliament!"

Mr. Caxton.---"Upon my life, I hope something newer than that; for they,
to judge by the newspapers, don't want brother Jack's assistance to blow
up each other!"

Uncle Jack (mysteriously).--"Newspapers! you don't often read a
newspaper, Austin Caxton!"

Mr. Caxton.--"Granted, John Tibbets!"

Uncle Jack.--"But if my speculation make you read a newspaper every
day?"

Mr. Caxton (astounded).--"Make me read a newspaper every day!"