Mr. Caxton (descending from his stilts with an air as mildly reproachful
as if I had been cavilling at the virtues of Socrates).--"You don't do
your uncle justice, Pisistratus,--he is a very clever man; and I am sure
that, in spite of his scalene misfortune, he would be an honest one,--
that is [added Mr. Caxton, correcting himself], not romantically or
heroically honest, but holiest as men go,--if he could but keep his head
long enough above water; but, you see, when the best man in the world is
engaged in the process of sinking, he catches hold of whatever comes in
his way, and drowns the very friend who is swimming to save him."

Pisistratus.--"Perfectly true, sir; but Uncle Jack makes it his business
to be always sinking!"

Mr. Caxton (with naivete).--"And how could it be otherwise, when he has
been carrying all his fellow-creatures in his breeches' pockets? Now he
has got rid of that dead weight, I should not be surprised if he swam
like a cork."

Pisistratus (who, since the "Capitalist," has become a strong Anti-
Jackian). "But if, sir, you really think Uncle Jack's love for his
fellow-creatures is genuine, that is surely not the worst part of him."

Mr. Caxton.--"O literal ratiocinator, and dull to the true logic of
Attic irony! can't you comprehend that an affection may be genuine as
felt by the man, yet its nature be spurious in relation to others? A
man may generally believe he loves his fellow-creatures when he roasts
them like Torquemada, or guillotines them like St. Just! Happily Jack's
scalene triangle, being more produced from air than from fire, does not
give to his philanthropy the inflammatory character which distinguishes
the benevolence of inquisitors and revolutionists. The philanthropy,