Distant and unobserved, I loved to feed my eyes upon her pale and
downcast cheek; to note the abstraction that came over her at moments,
even when her glance seemed brightest, and her lip most fluent; and to
know, that while a fearful mystery might for ever forbid the union of our
hands, there was an invisible, but electric chain, which connected the
sympathies of our hearts.

Ah! why is it, that the noblest of our passions should be also the most
selfish?--that while we would make all earthly sacrifice for the one we
love, we are perpetually demanding a sacrifice in return; that if we
cannot have the rapture of blessing, we find a consolation in the power
to afflict; and that we acknowledge, while we reprobate, the maxim of the
sage: 'L'on veut faire tout le bonheur, ou, si cela ne se peut ainsi,
tout le malheur de ce qu'on aime.'"

The beauty of Ellen was not of that nature, which rests solely upon the
freshness of youth, nor even the magic of expression; it was as faultless
as it was dazzling; no one could deny its excess or its perfection; her
praises came constantly to my ear into whatever society I went. Say what
we will of the power of love, it borrows greatly from opinion; pride,
above all things, sanctions and strengthens affection. When all voices
were united to panegyrize her beauty--when I knew, that the powers of her
wit--the charms of her conversation--the accurate judgment, united to the
sparkling imagination, were even more remarkable characteristics of her
mind, than loveliness of her person, I could not but feel my ambition, as
well as my tenderness, excited; I dwelt with a double intensity on my
choice, and with a tenfold bitterness on the obstacles which forbade me
to indulge it.