that their novelty had passed: now striving for the vanity of literary
fame; now, for the emptier baubles which riches could procure. At one
time I shrouded myself in my closet, and brooded over the dogmas of the
learned and the errors of the wise; at another, I plunged into the more
engrossing and active pursuits of the living crowd which rolled around
me,--and flattered my heart, that amid the applause of senators and the
whirlpool of affairs, I could lull to rest the voices of the past and the
spectre of the dead.

"Whether these hopes were effectual, and the struggle not in vain,
this haggard and wasting form, drooping day by day into the grave, can
declare; but I said I would not dwell long upon this part of my history,
nor is it necessary. Of one thing only, not connected with the main part
of my confessions, it is right, for the sake of one tender and guiltless
being, that I should speak.

"In the cold and friendless world with which I mixed, there was a heart
which had years ago given itself wholly up to me. At that time I was
ignorant of the gift I so little deserved, or (for it was before I knew
Gertrude) I might have returned it, and been saved years of crime and
anguish. Since then, the person I allude to had married, and, by the
death of her husband, was once more free. Intimate with my family, and
more especially with my sister, she now met me constantly; her compassion
for the change she perceived in me, both in mind and person, was stronger
than even her reserve, and this is the only reason why I speak of an
attachment which ought otherwise to be concealed: I believe that you
already understand to whom I allude, and since you have discovered her
weakness, it is right that you should know also her virtue; it is right
that you should learn that it was not in her the fantasy or passion of a
moment, but a long and secreted love; that you should learn that it was