disguising myself from head to foot in a long horseman's cloak, I set off
alone, locking in my heart the calm and cold conviction that my oath
should be kept. I placed, concealed in my dress, two pistols; my
intention was to follow Tyrrell wherever he went, till we could find
ourselves alone, and without the chance of intrusion. It was then my
determination to force him into a contest, and that no trembling of the
hand, no error of the swimming sight, might betray my purpose, to place
us foot to foot, and the mouth of each pistol almost to the very temple
of each antagonist. Nor was I deterred for a moment from this resolution
by the knowledge that my own death must be as certain as my victim's. On
the contrary, I looked forward to dying thus, and so baffling the more
lingering, but not less sure, disease which was daily wasting me away,
with the same fierce, yet not unquiet delight with which men have rushed
into battle, and sought out a death less bitter to them than life.

"For two days, though I each day saw Tyrrell, fate threw into my way no
opportunity of executing my design. The morning of the third came,--
Tyrrell was on the race-ground; sure that he would remain there for some
hours, I put up my wearied horse in the town, and, seating myself in an
obscure corner of the course, was contented with watching, as the serpent
does his victim, the distant motions of my enemy. Perhaps you can
recollect passing a man seated on the ground and robed in a horseman's
cloak. I need not tell you that it was I whom you passed and accosted. I
saw you ride by me; but the moment you were gone I forgot the occurrence.
I looked upon the rolling and distant crowd as a child views the figures
of the phantasmagoria, scarcely knowing if my eyes deceived me, feeling
impressed with some stupefying and ghastly sensation of dread, and
cherishing the conviction that my life was not as the life of the
creatures that passed before me.