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Pelham — Volume 08 by Baron Edward Bulwer Lytton Lytton
page 54 of 70 (77%)
can accomplish my own wishes, I will consult your's still farther; for I
shall always think of your services with gratitude, though you did shut
the door in my face."

"No, Sir," replied Job--"life is a blessing I would fain enjoy a few
years longer; and, at present, my sojourn in England would put it
woefully in danger of 'club law.' Besides, I begin to think that a good
character is a very agreeable thing, when not too troublesome: and, as I
have none left in England, I may as well make the experiment abroad. If
your honour will call at the magistrate's, and take a warrant and an
officer, for the purpose of ridding me of my charge, at the very instant
I see my responsibility at an end, I will have the honour of bidding you
adieu."

"Well, as you please," said I. "Curse your scoundrel's cosmetics! How the
deuce am I ever to regain my natural complexion? Look ye, sirrah! you
have painted me with a long wrinkle on the left side of my mouth, big
enough to engulph all the beauty I ever had. Why, water seems to have no
effect upon it!"

"To be sure not, Sir," said Job, calmly--"I should be but a poor dauber,
if my paints washed off with a wet sponge."

"Grant me patience," cried I, in a real panic; "how, in the name of
Heaven, are they to wash off? Am I, before I have reached my twenty-
third year, to look like a methodist parson on the wrong side of forty,
you rascal!"

"The latter question, your honour can best answer," returned Job. "With
regard to the former, I have an unguent here, if you will suffer me to
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