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What Will He Do with It — Volume 11 by Baron Edward Bulwer Lytton Lytton
page 58 of 64 (90%)
take no calling in life by which I might be recognised; deemed it a
blessed mercy of Providence that when, not able to resist offers that
would have enabled me to provide for you as I never otherwise could, I
assented to hazard an engagement at a London theatre--trusting for my
incognito to an actor's arts of disguise--came the accident which, of
itself, annihilated the temptation into which I had suffered myself to be
led. For, ah, child! had it been known who and what was the William
Waife whose stage-mime tricks moved harmless mirth, or tears as pleasant,
the audience would have risen, not to applaud, but hoot, 'Off, off,' from
both worlds--the Mimic as the Real! Well, had I been dishonest, you--you
alone felt that I could not have dared to take you, guiltless infant, by
the hand. You remember that, on my return to Rugge's wandering theatre,
bringing you with me, I exaggerated the effects of my accident--affected
to have lost voice--stipulated to be spared appearing on his stage. That
was not the mere pride of manhood shrinking from the display of physical
afflictions. No. In the first village that we arrived at, I recognised
an old friend, and I saw that, in spite of time, and the accident that
had disfigured me, he recognised me, and turned away his face, as if in
loathing. An old friend, Sophy--an old friend! Oh, it pierced me to the
heart; and I resolved, from that day, to escape from Rugge's stage; and I
consented till the means of escape, and some less dependent mode of
livelihood, were found, to live on thy earnings, child; for if I were
discovered by other old friends, and they spoke out, my disgrace would
reflect on you; and better to accept support, from you than that! Alas!
appearances were so strong against me, I never deemed they could be
cleared away, even from the sight of my nearest friends. But Providence,
you know, has been so kind to us hitherto; and so Providence will be kind
to us again, Sophy. And now, the very man I thought most hard to me--
this very Guy Darrell, under whose roof we are--has been the man to make
those whose opinion I most value know that I am not dishonest; and
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