he forced himself into affection; and probably without a murmur of his
heart, he would have gone with her to the altar, and, once wedded, custom
and duty would have strengthened the chain imposed on himself, had it not
been for Lucretia's fatal eagerness to see him, to come up to London,
where she induced him to meet her,--for with her came Susan; and in
Susan's averted face and trembling hand and mute avoidance of his eye, he
read all which the poor dissembler fancied she concealed. But the die
was cast, the union announced, the time fixed, and day by day he came to
the house, to leave it in anguish and despair. A feeling they shared in
common caused these two unhappy persons to shun each other. Mainwaring
rarely came into the usual sitting-room of the family; and when be did
so, chiefly in the evening, Susan usually took refuge in her own room.
If they met, it was by accident, on the stairs, or at the sudden opening
of a door; then not only no word, but scarcely even a look was exchanged:
neither had the courage to face the other. Perhaps, of the two, this
reserve weighed most on Susan; perhaps she most yearned to break the
silence,--for she thought she divined the cause of Mainwaring's gloomy
and mute constraint in the upbraidings of his conscience, which might
doubtless recall, if no positive pledge to Susan, at least those words
and tones which betray the one heart, and seek to allure the other; and
the profound melancholy stamped on his whole person, apparent even to her
hurried glance, touched her with a compassion free from all the
bitterness of selfish reproach. She fancied she could die happy if she
could remove that cloud from his brow, that shadow from his conscience.
Die; for she thought not of life. She loved gently, quietly,--not with
the vehement passion that belongs to stronger natures; but it was the
love of which the young and the pure have died. The face of the Genius
was calm and soft; and only by the lowering of the hand do you see that
the torch burns out, and that the image too serene for earthly love is
the genius of loving Death.