Mournful but firm in these thoughts and these resolutions, I sought Mrs.
Ashleigh's house.




CHAPTER XLII.

It was twilight when I entered, unannounced (as had been my wont in our
familiar intercourse), the quiet sitting-room in which I expected to find
mother and child. But Lilian was there alone, seated by the open window,
her hands crossed and drooping on her knee, her eye fixed upon the
darkening summer skies, in which the evening star had just stolen forth,
bright and steadfast, near the pale sickle of a half-moon that was dimly
visible, but gave as yet no light.

Let any lover imagine the reception he would expect to meet from his
betrothed coming into her presence after he had passed triumphant through
a terrible peril to life and fame--and conceive what ice froze my blood,
what anguish weighed down my heart, when Lilian, turning towards me, rose
not, spoke not, gazed at me heedlessly as if at some indifferent
stranger--and--and--But no matter. I cannot bear to recall it even now,
at the distance of years! I sat down beside her, and took her hand,
without pressing it; it rested languidly, passively in mine, one moment; I
dropped it then, with a bitter sigh.

"Lilian," I said quietly, "you love me no longer. Is it not so?"

She raised her eyes to mine, looked at me wistfully, and pressed her hand
on her forehead; then said, in a strange voice, "Did I ever love you?