watched thee, hanging on thy wish, striving to foresee thy thoughts--all
the while I was the partner of thy days, and at night my bosom was thy
pillow, and I could not sleep from the bliss of thinking thee so near me:
thy heart was then indeed away from me: thy thoughts estranged; I was to
thee only an encumbrance--a burthen, from which thy sigh was to be free!
Can I ever look back, then, to those hours we spent together? All that
vast history of the past is but one record of bitterness and shame. And
yet I cannot blame thee; it were something if I could: in proportion as
you loved me not, you were kind and generous; and God will bless you for
that kindness to the poor orphan. A harsh word, a threatening glance, I
never had the affliction to feel from thee. Tracing the blighted past, I
am only left to sadden at that gentleness which never came from love!

"Go, Godolphin--I repeat the prayer in all humbleness and sincerity--go to
her whom thou lovest, perhaps as I loved thee; go, and in your happiness I
shall feel at last something of happiness myself. We part for ever, but
there is no unkindness between us; there is no reproach that one can make
against the other. If I have sinned, it has been against Heaven and not
thee; and thou--why, even against Heaven mine was all the fault--the
rashness the madness! You will return to your native land; to that proud
England, of which I have so often questioned you, and which, even in your
answers, seems to me so cold and desolate a spot,--a land so hostile to
love. There, in your new ties, you will learn new objects, and you will
be too busy, and too happy, for your thoughts to turn to me again. Too
happy?--No, I wish I could think you would be; but I whom you deny to
possess sympathies with you--I have at least penetrated so far into your
heart as to fear that, come what may, you will never find the happiness
you ask. You exact too much, you dream too fondly, not to be discontented
with the truth. What has happened to me must happen to my rival--will
happen to you throughout life. Your being is in one world, your soul is