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Godolphin, Volume 5. by Baron Edward Bulwer Lytton Lytton
page 22 of 73 (30%)

LUCILLA TO GODOLPHIN.

"I can stay here no longer; my mind will not submit to quiet; this
inactivity wears me to madness. Besides, I want to see thy wife. I shall
go to Rome; I shall witness thy wedding; and then--ah! what then? Give
me back. Godolphin, oh; give me back the young pure heart I had ere I
loved you! Then, I could take joy in all things:--now! But I will not
repine; it is beneath me. I, the daughter of the stars, am no love-sick
and nerveless minion of a vain regret; my pride is roused at last, and I
feel at least the independence of being alone. Wild and roving shall be
my future life; that lot which denies me hope, has raised me above all
fear. Love makes us all the woman; love has left me, and something hard
and venturous, something that belongs to they sex, has come in its stead.

"You have left me money--I thank you--I thank you--I thank you; my heart
almost chokes me as I write this. Could you think of me so basely?--For
shame, man! if my child--our child were living (and O, Percy, she had
thine eyes!), I would see her starve inch by inch rather than touch one
doit of thy bounty! But she is dead--thank God! Fear not for me, I shall
not starve; these hands can support life. God bless thee--loved as thou
still art! If, years hence, I should feel my end draw near, I will drag
myself to thy country, and look once more on thy face before I die."

Godolphin sank down, and covered his face with his hands. Constance took
up the letter. "Ay--read it!" said he in a hollow voice. She did so,
and when she had finished, the proud Constance, struck by a spirit like
her own, bathed the letter in her tears. This pleased--this touched--this
consoled Godolphin more than the most elaborate comforting. "Poor girl!"
said Constance, through her tears, "this must not be; she must not be left
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