crying! And suppose he's lost his position, and does this every day!

Now every day I must lay aside what I am doing and sit and shudder when I
hear him coming up the steps--and wait for him to begin this! I tell you,
I demand to be free--I _demand_ it! I want nothing in this world but to
be let alone. I don't want anybody to wait on me.--_I don't want anything
from this hellish world but to be let alone!_

It is pouring rain outside, and my overcoat is thin; but I must go out and
pace the streets and wait until a filthy Dutchman gets through scraping
ragtime on a 'cello.

All day wasted! All day! Does it not seem that these things persecute you
by system? I came in, cold and wet, and got into bed, and then he began
again! And the friends came back and they had beer, and more music. And I
had to get up and put on the wet clothes once more.

* * * * *

May 2d.

I was crouching out on one of the docks last night. I had no place else to
go. I can think anywhere, if it is quiet.

A wonderful thing is the night. I bless Thee for the night, oh "_susse,
heilige Natur_"!

It was a voice in my soul, as clear as could be.

--She can not bear too long the sight of men, sweet, holy Nature: the