relations, the commercial interest of this island will be incapable of
furnishing the taxes which I intend to levy, I have determined,
therefore, to fit out an expedition for the purpose of discovering new
islands and forming relations with new islanders. It is but due to your
merit that you should be appointed to the command of it; and further to
testify my infinite esteem for your character, and my complete
confidence in your abilities, I make you post-captain on the spot. As
the axiom of your school seems to be that everything can be made perfect
at once, without time, without experience, without practice, and without
preparation, I have no doubt, with the aid of a treatise or two, You
will make a consummate naval commander, although you have never been at
sea in the whole course of your life. Farewell, Captain Popanilla!'

No sooner was this adieu uttered than four brawny lords of the
bed-chamber seized the Turgot of Fantaisie by the shoulders, and carried
him with inconceivable rapidity to the shore. His pupils, who would
have fled to his rescue, were stifled with the embraces of their former
partners, and their utilitarianism dissolved in the arms of those they
once so rudely rejected. As for their tutor, he was thrust into one of
the canoes, with some fresh water, bread-fruit, dried fish, and a basket
of alligator-pears. A band of mermaids carried the canoe with exquisite
management through the shallows and over the breakers, and poor
Popanilla in a few minutes found himself out at sea. Tremendously
frightened, he offered to recant all his opinions, and denounce as
traitors any individuals whom the Court might select. But his former
companions did not exactly detect the utility of his return. His
offers, his supplications, were equally fruitless; and the only answer
which floated to him on the wind was, 'Farewell, Captain Popanilla!'