Just as the assembly was about to be dissolved another messenger, who,
in his agitation, even forgot the accustomed etiquette of salutation,
rushed into the presence.

'O most mighty! Sir Bombastes Furioso, who commanded our last
expedition, having sailed, in the hurry, with wrong orders, has attacked
our ancient ally by mistake, and utterly destroyed him!'

Here was a pretty business for the Best and Wisest! At first the
Managers behaved in a manner the most undiplomatic, and quite lost their
temper; they raved, they stormed, they contradicted each other, they
contradicted themselves, and swore that Sir Bombastes' head should
answer for it. Then they subsided into sulkiness, and at length,
beginning to suspect that the fault might ultimately attach only to
themselves, they got frightened, and held frequent consultations with
pale visages and quivering lips. After some time they thought they
could do nothing wiser than put a good face upon the affair; whatever
might be the result, it was, at any rate, a victory, and a victory would
please the vainest of nations: and so these blundering and blustering
gentlemen determined to adopt the conqueror, whom they were at first
weak enough to disclaim, then vile enough to bully, and finally forced
to reward. The Statue accordingly whispered a most elaborate panegyric
on Furioso, which was of course duly delivered. The Admiral, who was
neither a coward nor a fool, was made ridiculous by being described as
the greatest commander that ever existed; one whom Nature, in a gracious
freak, had made to shame us little men; a happy compound of the piety of
Noah, the patriotism of Themistocles, the skill of Columbus, and the
courage of Nelson; and his exploit styled the most glorious and
unrivalled victory that was ever achieved, even by the Vraibleusians!