"'By all means,' said he, and he was a cuttin' off full
chisel to get a stamp, when I sais, 'Stop,' sais I,
'uncle, mind and put in the receipt, the bill of items,
and charge 'em separate?'

"'Bill of items? sais he.

"'Yes,' sais I, 'let me see what each is to get. Well,
there's the waiter, now. Say to knockin' down the waiter
and kicking him, so much; then there's the barmaid so
much, and so on. I make no objection, I am willin' to
pay all you ask, but I want to include all, for I intend
to post a copy of it in the elegant cabins of each of
our splendid New York Liners. This house convenes the
Americans--they all know _me_. I want them to know how
their _Attache_ was imposed on, and if any American ever
sets foot in this cussed house agin I will pay his bill,
and post that up too, as a letter of credit for him.'

"'You wouldn't take that advantage of me, Sir?' said he.

"'I take no advantage,' sais I. 'I'll pay you what you
ask, but you shall never take advantage agin of another
free and enlightened American citizen, I can tell you.'

"'You must keep your money then, Sir,' said he, 'but this
is not a fair deal; no gentleman would do it.'

"'What's fair, I am willin' to do,' sais I; 'what's
onfair, is what you want to do. Now, look here: I knocked