"'Dr. Mc'Dougall, the nateralist,' says Oatmeal.

"'Hout, mon,' says Sawney, 'he is nae nateral, that chiel;
he kens mair than maist men; he is nae that fool you take
him to be.'

"Now, I am not such a fool as you take _me_ to be, Squire.
Whenever I did a sum to, school, Minister used to say,
'Prove it, Sam, and if it won't prove, do it over agin,
till it will; a sum ain't right when it won't prove.'
Now, I say the English have the Spy System, and I'll
prove it; nay, more than that, they have the nastiest,
dirtiest, meanest, sneakenest system in the world. It is
ten times as bad as the French plan. In France they have
bar-keepers, waiters, chamber galls, guides,
quotillions,--"

"Postilions, you mean," I said.

"Well, postilions then, for the French have queer names
for people, that's a fact; disbanded sodgers, and such
trash, for spies. In England they have airls and countesses,
Parliament men, and them that call themselves gentlemen
and ladies, for spies."

"How very absurd!" I said.

"Oh yes, very absurd," said Mr. Slick; "whenever I say
anythin' agin England, it's very absurd, it's all prejudice.