stand talkin' to this critter. Good-bye,' sais I.

"Now what do you think he said? Why, you would suppose
he'd say good-bye too, wouldn't you? Well, he didn't,
nor nothin' like it, but he jist ups, and sais,
'Forwelloaugh,' he did, upon my soul. I never felt so
stumpt afore in all my life. Sais I, 'Friend, here is
half a dollar for you; it arn't often I'm brought to a
dead stare, and when I am, I am willin' to pay for it.'

"There's two languages, Squire, that's univarsal: the
language of love, and the language of money; the galls
onderstand the one, and the men onderstand the other,
all the wide world over, from Canton to Niagara. I no
sooner showed him the half dollar, than it walked into
his pocket, a plaguy sight quicker than it will walk out,
I guess.

"Sais I, 'Friend, you've taken the consait out of me
properly. Captain Hall said there warn't a man, woman,
or child, in the whole of the thirteen united univarsal
worlds of our great Republic, that could speak pure
English, and I was a goin' to kick him for it; but he is
right, arter all. There ain't one livin' soul on us can;
I don't believe they ever as much as heerd it, for I
never did, till this blessed day, and there are few things
I haven't either see'd, or heern tell of. Yes, we can't
speak English, do you take?' 'Dim comrag,' sais he, which
in Yankee, means, "that's no English," and he stood,
looked puzzled, and scratched his head, rael hansum, 'Dim