bird tappin' his wing aginst her stuny breast would move it jest as much as
he moved me by his talk or his sithes. But he kep' on, puttin' on a sort of
a sad injured look as if my coldness wuz ondoin' of him.

"My dear madam, it is my misfortune that the topics I introduce, however
carefully selected by me, do not seem to be congenial to you. Have you
a leanin' toward Natural history, madam? Have you ever studied into the
habits and traits of our American Wad?"

"What?" sez I. For truly a woman's curosity, however parlyzed by just
indignation, can stand only just so much strain. "The what?"

"The wad. The animal from which is obtained the valuable fur that tailors
make so much use of."

Sez I, "Do you mean waddin' eight cents a sheet?"

"Eight cents a pelt--yes, the skins are plentiful and cheap, owing to the
hardy habits of the animal."

Sez I, "Cease instantly. I will hear no more."

Truly, I had heard much of the flattery and little talk statesmen will use
to wimmen, and I'd hearn of their lies, etc.; but truly I felt that the
half had not been told. And then I thought out-loud and sez:

"I've hearn how laws of eternal right and justice are sot one side in
Washington, D.C., as bein' too triflin' to attend to, while the Legislators
pondered over and passed laws regardin' hen's eggs and bird's nests. But
this is goin' too fur--too fur. But," sez I firmly, "I shall do Serepta's