what is best for me and for his own glory. Perhaps I depended too much
on the company and conversation of such a near, and dear, and
affectionate father and guide. I cannot doubt but all is for the best,
and I am satisfied that God should order the affair of your removal as
shall be for his glory, whatever comes of me. Since I wrote my
mother's letter, God has carried me through new trials, and given me
new supports. My little son [1] has been sick with the slow fever ever
since my brother left us, and has been brought to the brink of the
grave. But I hope, in mercy, God is bringing him up again. I was
enabled to resign the child (after a severe struggle with nature) with
the greatest freedom. God showed me that the child was not my own, but
his, and that he had a right to recall what he had lent whenever he
thought fit; and I had no reason to complain, or say God dealt hard
with me. This silenced me. But how good is God! He hath not only kept
me from complaining, but comforted me, by enabling me to offer up the
child by faith. I think, if ever I acted faith, I saw the fullness
there was in Christ for little infants, and his willingness to accept
of such as were offered to him. 'Suffer little children to come unto
me, and forbid them not, for of such is the kingdom of God,' were
comforting words. God also showed me, in such a lively manner, the
fullness that was in himself of all spiritual blessings, that I said,
Although all streams were cut off, yet, so long as my God lives, I
have enough. He enabled me to say--'Although thou slay me, yet will I
trust in thee.' In this time of trial I was led to enter into a
renewed and explicit covenant with God, in a more solemn manner than
ever before, and with the greatest freedom and delight. After much
self-examination and prayer, I did give up myself and children to God
with my whole heart. Never, until now, had I a sense of the privilege
we are allowed in covenanting with God! This act of my soul left my
mind in a quiet and steady trust in God. A few days after this, one