14. Albert's Uncle's Grandmother; or, The Long-Lost




CHAPTER 1
THE JUNGLE



Children are like jam: all very well in the proper place, but you
can't stand them all over the shop--eh, what?'

These were the dreadful words of our Indian uncle. They made us
feel very young and angry; and yet we could not be comforted by
calling him names to ourselves, as you do when nasty grown-ups say
nasty things, because he is not nasty, but quite the exact opposite
when not irritated. And we could not think it ungentlemanly of him
to say we were like jam, because, as Alice says, jam is very nice
indeed--only not on furniture and improper places like that. My
father said, 'Perhaps they had better go to boarding-school.' And
that was awful, because we know Father disapproves of
boarding-schools. And he looked at us and said, 'I am ashamed of
them, sir!'

Your lot is indeed a dark and terrible one when your father is
ashamed of you. And we all knew this, so that we felt in our
chests just as if we had swallowed a hard-boiled egg whole. At
least, this is what Oswald felt, and Father said once that Oswald,
as the eldest, was the representative of the family, so, of course,