English knight of the olden time, who, in the course of a border foray,
had been captured and carried off to the castle of a hard-headed and
high-handed old baron. The unfortunate youth was thrown into a dungeon,
and a tall gallows erected before the castle gate for his execution.
When all was ready, he was brought into the castle hall where the grim
baron was seated in state, with his warriors armed to the teeth around
him, and was given his choice, either to swing on the gibbet or to
marry the baron's daughter. The last may be thought an easy
alternative, but unfortunately, the baron's young lady was hideously
ugly, with a mouth from ear to ear, so that not a suitor was to be had
for her, either for love or money, and she was known throughout the
border country by the name of Muckle-mouthed Mag!

The picture in question represented the unhappy dilemma of the handsome
youth. Before him sat the grim baron, with a face worthy of the father
of such a daughter, and looking daggers and ratsbane. On one side of
him was Muckle-mouthed Mag, with an amorous smile across the whole
breadth of her countenance, and a leer enough to turn a man to stone;
on the other side was the father confessor, a sleek friar, jogging the
youth's elbow, and pointing to the gallows, seen in perspective through
the open portal.

The story goes, that after long laboring in mind, between the altar and
the halter, the love of life prevailed, and the youth resigned himself
to the charms of Muckle-mouthed Mag. Contrary to all the probabilities
of romance, the match proved a happy one. The baron's daughter, if not
beautiful, was a most exemplary wife; her husband was never troubled
with any of those doubts and jealousies which sometimes mar the
happiness of connubial life, and was made the father of a fair and
undoubtedly legitimate hue, which still flourishes on the border.