practical knowledge of all our viands, their substance, and the mode
of their preparation, their qualities, relationships and harmonies,
and the exact place they hold in our great cenatorial system. He
knows all liquors also by name, with their places and times of
appearing. And he is as great in action as in knowledge. When he
takes the command of a burra khana he is a Wellington. He plans with
foresight, and executes with fortitude and self-reliance. See him
marshal his own troops and his auxiliary butlers while he carves and
dispenses the joint! Then he puts himself at their head and invades
the dining-room. He meets with reverses;--the claret-jug collides
with a dish in full sail and sheds its contents on his white coat;
the punkah rope catches his turban and tosses it into a lady's lap,
exposing his curiously shaven head to the public merriment; but,
though disconcerted, he is not defeated. He never forgets his
position or loses sight of his dignity. His mistress discusses him
with such wit as may be at her command, and he understands but smiles
not. When the action is over he retires from the field, divests
himself of his robes of office and sits down, as he was bred to do,
before that hillock of curry and rice.

Even good Homer nods, and I confess I am still haunted by the memory
of a day when my Chief was my guest, and the butler served up red
herrings neatly done up in--The Times of India!



DOMINGO, THE COOK