"'Far be it fr'm me to suggist anny but peaceful measures,' says Sir
Alfred Milner, that's th' lad they have down in Africa, th' Injun agent,
'f'r th' English an' Dutch shud wurruk together like brothers f'r th'
removal iv th' naygur popylation,' he says, 'but,' he says, 'as a
brother I politely suggest to ye that if ye don't give us what we want
we'll hand ye a fraternal punch!' he says. 'F'r,' he says,' 'we have put
our hand to th' plough,' he says, 'an' we cannot turn back,' he says.

"'What Sir Alfred Milner says is thrue,' says Lord Lelborne, an' what
th' divvle he has to do about it I dinnaw. 'Th' situation is such,' he
says, 'as to be intol'rable to a silf-rayspictin' Englishman,' he says.
'What a crime,' he says, 'that th' men who ar-re takin' most iv th'
money out iv th' counthry shud not be allowed to stick in anny iv th'
votes,' he says. 'We have, as Shakespeare says, put our hand to th'
plough,' he says, 'an' we cannot turn back,' he says. 'I agree corjally
with th' noble lord on th' r-red lounge abaft me,' says Lord Salisbury.
'With the echoes of me own noble sintimints on th' peace proclamation iv
me good frind, th' Czar iv Rooshia, still ringin' in me ears,' he says,
'it wud ill become me to speak iv foorce,' he says. 'I wud on'y say that
if th' Transvaal raypublic wud rather have a Dum-dum bullet in its tum-
tum thin grant to Englishmen th' r-right to run th' govermint, thin th'
Transvaal rapublic'll have both!' he says. 'I will add,' he says, 'that
we have put our hand to th' plough an' we will not turn back,' he says.

"Well, sir, 'twas up to Kruger an' he knocked th' ashes out iv his pipe
on his vest an' says he, 'Gintlemen,' he says, 'I wud like to do me best
to accomydate ye,' he says. 'Nawthin' short iv a severe attack iv
sickness wud plaze me so much as to see long lines iv Englishmen
marchin' up to th' polls an' depositin' their ballots again' me f'r
prisidint,' he says. 'But,' he says, 'I'm an old man!' he says. 'I was