an' haven't larned properly to sight a gun."




MINISTER WU


"Well, sir, me little Chinee frind Woo must be havin' th' time iv his
life in Wash'nton these warm days," said Mr. Dooley.

"Who's he?" asked Mr. Hennessy.

"He's th' Chinee ministher," said Mr. Dooley, "an' his business is f'r
to supply fresh hand-laundhried misinformation to the sicrety iv state.
Th' sicrety iv state is settin' in his office feelin' blue because he's
just heerd be a specyal corryspondint iv th' London Daily Pail at
Sydney, Austhreelya, who had it fr'm a slatewriter in Duluth that an ar-
rmy iv four hundherd an' eight thousan' millyon an' sivinty-five
bloodthirsty Chinee, ar-rmed with flatirnes an' cryin', 'Bung Loo!'
which means, Hinnissy, 'Kill th' foreign divvles, dhrive out th'
missionries, an' set up in Chiny a gover'mint f'r the Chinee,' is
marchin' on Vladivostook in Siberyia, not far fr'm Tinsin."

A knock comes at th' dure an' Woo enthers. 'Well,' says he, with a happy
smile, ''tis all right.' 'What's all right?' says the sicrety iv state.
'Ivrything,' says Woo. 'I have just found a letter sewed in a shirt fr'm
me frind Lie Much, th' viceroy iv Bumbang. It is dated th' fourth hour
iv th' third day iv th' eighth or green-cheese moon,' he says. 'What day
is that?' says the sicrety iv state. 'It's Choosdah, th' fourth iv July;