or ye'll feel me specyal delivery hand on th' back iv ye'er neck in a
way that'll do ye no kind iv good. Hock German Michael,' he says, 'hock
me gran'father, hoch th' penny postage fist,' he says, 'hock mesilf,' he
says. An th' German impror wint back to his bedroom f'r to wurruk on th'
book he's goin' to br-ring out nex' year to take th' place iv th' bible.

"He's th' boy f'r me money. Whin th' German throops takes their part in
th' desthruction iv Peking they'll be none iv th' allied foorces 'll
stick deeper or throw th' backbone iv th' impress' ol' father higher
thin th' la-ads fr'm th' home iv th' sausage. I hope th' cillybration
'll occur on Chris'mas day. I'd like to hear th' sojers singin' 'Gawd r-
rest ye, merry Chinnymen' as they punchered thim with a baynit."

"'Twill be a good thing," said Mr. Hennessy.

"It will that," said Mr. Dooley.

"'Twill civilize th' Chinnymen," said Mr. Hennessy.

"'Twill civilize thim stiff," said Mr. Dooley. "An' it may not be a bad
thing f'r th' r-rest iv th' wurruld. Perhaps contack with th' Chinee may
civlize th' Germans."




PLATFORM MAKING


"That sthrikes me as a gran' platform," said Mr. Hennessy. "I'm with it