must build a boat as follows: Wan hundherd an' twinty chest, fifty-four
waist, hip an' side pockets, carryin' three hundherd an' sixty-three
thousan' cubic feet iv canvas; th' basement iv th' boat to be papered in
green with yellow flowered dado, open plumbin', steam heat throughout,
th' tinant to pay f'r all repairs. Be means iv this infernal machine, if
enable to kill off th' rile fam'ly, he will attimpt to cross th' stormy
Atlantic, an' if successful, will arrive at th' risidince iv th' party
of th' first part, said John Doe. Wanst there, he will consult with
mimbers iv th' Noo York Bar Association, who will lead him to a firm iv
competent expert accountants, who will give him his time, which is two
minyits measured be th' invarse ratio iv th' distance fr'm th' binnacle
to th' cook-stove, an' fr'm th' cook-stove, east be north to th'
bowspirit. He will thin take his foolish boat down th' bay, an' if he
keeps his health, he can rayturn to th' grocery business, f'r he's a
jolly good fellow which nobody can deny.'

"Ye can see this, Hinnissy, that yachtin' has become wan iv thl larned
pro-fissions. 'Tis that that got th' la-ad fr'm Boston into it. They's a
jolly Jack Tar f'r ye. In dhrawin' up a lease or framin' a bond, no more
gallant sailor rides th' waves thin hearty Jack Larsen iv th'
Amalgamated Copper Yacht Club. 'What ho?' says he. 'If we're goin' to
have a race,' he says, 'shiver me timbers if I don't look up th' law,'
he says. So he become a yachtsman. 'But,' says th' Noo York la-ads, thim
that has th' Cup on their mantel-piece, 'Ye can race on'y on two
conditions.' 'What ar-re they?' says Larsen. 'Th' first is that ye
become a mimber iv our club.' 'With pleasure,' says he. 'Ye can't,' says
they. 'An' havin' complied with this first condition, ye must give us
ye'er boat,' says they. 'We don't want it,' they says. 'Th' terms suit
me entirely,' says Cap. Larsen. 'I'm a simple sailor man an' I'll give
ye me boat undher th' following conditions,' he says. 'First, that ye