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Mr. Dooley's Philosophy by Finley Peter Dunne
page 57 of 151 (37%)
"How did th' mast come to fall?" asked Mr. Hennessy, eagerly. "D'ye
suppose Sir Lipton is wan iv us?"

"S-sh," said Mr. Dooley, adding, softly, "he was bor-rn in Limerick."




POLYGAMY


"How manny wives has this here man Roberts that's thryin' to break into
Congress?" Mr. Dooley asked.

"I dinnaw," said Mr. Hennessy; "I nivver heerd iv him."

"I think it's three," said Mr. Dooley. "No wondher he needs wurruk an'
is fightin' hard f'r th' job. I'm with him too, be hivens. Not that I'm
be taste or inclination a marryin' man, Hinnissy. They may get me to th'
altar some day. Th' best iv us falls, like Cousin George, an' there ar-
re designin' women in this very block that I have me own throubles in
dodgin'. But anny time ye hear iv me bein' dhrawn fr'm th' quite
miseries an' exclusive discomforts iv single life ye may know that they
have caught me asleep an' chloroformed me. It's thrue. But f'r thim that
likes it, it's all r-right, an' if a man's done something in his youth
that he has to do pinance f'r an' th' stations iv th' cross ain't
sthrong enough, lave him, says I, marry as manny women as he wants an'
live with them an' die contint. Th' Mormons thinks they ar-re commanded
be the Lord f'r to marry all th' ineligeable Swede women. Now, I don't
believe th' Lord iver commanded even a Mormon f'r to do annything so
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