"Oh," said Mr. Dooley, "he was in here las' night. 'How's our old frind
Jawn?' says I. He said nawthin'. 'Have ye seen ye'er collidge chum iv
late?' says I. 'Don't mintion that ma-an's name,' says he. 'To think iv
what I've done f'r him,' he says, 'an' him to throw me down,' he says.
'Did ye play th' tip?' says I. 'I did,' says he. 'How did ye come out?'
says I. 'I haven't a cint lift but me renommynation f'r th'
ligislachure,' says he. 'Well,' says I, 'Cassidy,' I says, 'ye've been
up again what th' pa-apers call hawt finance,' I says. 'What th'
divvle's that?' says he. 'Well,' says I, 'it ain't burglary, an' it
ain't obtainin' money be false pretinses, an' it ain't manslaughter,' I
says. 'It's what ye might call a judicious seliction fr'm th' best
features iv thim ar-rts,' I says. 'T'was too sthrong f'r me,' he says.
'It was,' says I. 'Ye're about up to simple thransom climbin', Cassidy,'
I says."




THE PARIS EXPOSITION


"If this r-rush iv people to th' Paris exposition keeps up," said Mr.
Hennessy, "they won't be enough left here f'r to ilict a prisidint."

"They'll be enough left," said Mr. Dooley. "There always is. No wan has
gone fr'm Arrchey r-road, where th' voters ar-re made. I've looked ar-
round ivry mornin' expectin' to miss some familyar faces. I thought
Dorgan, th' plumber, wud go sure, but he give it up at th' las' moment,
an' will spind his summer on th' dhrainage canal. Th' baseball season
'll keep a good manny others back, an' a number iv riprisintative