with onions, give th' baby th' bone to play with, an' sind Lucille
Ernestine acrost th' railroad thrack f'r a nickel's worth iv beer. Thin
ye'll be happy, me good woman.' Oh, 'twill be gran'. I won't give
annything to people that come to th' dure. More har-m is done be
indiscriminate charity than anny wan knows, Hinnissy. Half th' bankers
that'll come to ye-er kitchen nex' winter cud find plenty iv wurruk to
do if they really wanted it. Dhrink an' idleness is th' curse iv th'
class. If they come to me I'll sind thim to th' Paris Survivors'
Mechanical Relief Association, an' they can go down an' set on a cake iv
ice an' wait till th' man in charge finds thim a job managin' a diamond
mine."

[Illustration]

Mr. Hennessy dismissed Mr. Dooley's fancy sketch with a grin and
remarked: "These here expositions is a gran' thing f'r th' progress iv
th' wurruld."

"Ye r-read that in th' pa-apers," said Mr. Dooley, "an" it isn't so. Put
it down fr'm me, Hinnissy, that all expositions is a blind f'r th'
hootchy-kootchy dance. They'll be some gr-reat exhibits at th' Paris
fair. Th' man that has a machine that'll tur-rn out three hundhred
thousan' toothpicks ivry minyit'll sind over his inthrestin' device,
they'll be mountains iv infant food an' canned prunes, an' pickle
casters, an' pants, an' boots, an' shoes an' paintin's. They'll be all
th' wondhers iv modhern science. Ye can see how shirts ar-re made, an'
what gives life to th' sody fountain. Th' man that makes th' glue that
binds 'll be wearin' more medals thin an officer iv th' English ar-rmy
or a cinchry bicycle rider, an' years afther whin ye see a box iv soap
ye'll think iv th' manufacthrer standin' up befure a hundhred thousan'