United States (who sat next him) owed me a knife, I braced myself
for the ordeal.

It was a solemn spectacle, that court. Two executioners with
pinafores reversed led me in. Under the shade of an umbrella I
perceived my bride, supported by the bride of the pirate-colonel.
The president, having reproved a little female ensign for
tittering, on a matter of life or death, called upon me to plead,
'Coward or no coward, guilty or not guilty?' I pleaded in a firm
tone, 'No coward and not guilty.' (The little female ensign being
again reproved by the president for misconduct, mutinied, left the
court, and threw stones.)

My implacable enemy, the admiral, conducted the case against me.
The colonel's bride was called to prove that I had remained behind
the corner lamp-post during the engagement. I might have been
spared the anguish of my own bride's being also made a witness to
the same point, but the admiral knew where to wound me. Be still,
my soul, no matter. The colonel was then brought forward with his
evidence.

It was for this point that I had saved myself up, as the turning-
point of my case. Shaking myself free of my guards, - who had no
business to hold me, the stupids, unless I was found guilty, - I
asked the colonel what he considered the first duty of a soldier?
Ere he could reply, the President of the United States rose and
informed the court, that my foe, the admiral, had suggested
'Bravery,' and that prompting a witness wasn't fair. The president
of the court immediately ordered the admiral's mouth to be filled
with leaves, and tied up with string. I had the satisfaction of