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Personal Recollections - Abridged, Chiefly in Parts Pertaining to Political and Other - Controversies Prevalent at the Time in Great Britain by Charlotte Elizabeth
page 37 of 185 (20%)
Bible. We then perhaps take up Milton, engrafting his poetical
conception upon the original nursery stock, and make a devil half
monster, half archangel, invested with the ugliness of the first and the
sublimity of the second, but still far removed from the scripture
character of that roaring lion who "goeth about seeking whom he may
devour." We do not realize his existence, his presence, his devices;
and so we often do his work from sheer ignorance or inexcusable
thoughtlessness about it.

With me, as I have told you, the Bible did its work and conscience did
hers; but a passion for the unreal proved too strong for both.
Undoubtedly God could have wrought, as afterwards he did, to the casting
down of imaginations and every thing that exalteth itself against
Christ. But how many years of sorrow might have been averted, or how
greatly at least might those sorrows have been mitigated, had not the
inveteracy of a long-cherished disease required such sharp discipline to
bring it under. Pride was the master-sin of my corrupt nature, a pride
that every child of Adam inherits, but which peculiarly beset me. It was
not what usually goes by that name: no one ever accused me of an
approach to haughtiness, neither was I boastful or forward, as far as I
know; but I delighted to model my own character according to the
standard set forth in my foolish books, and by the contemplation of them
I hoped to succeed. I loved to mark in others a mean, ungenerous,
selfish, or malicious trait, and to contrast with it my own high-flown
notions of the opposite qualities. My memory was well stored with fine
sentiments concerning human dignity, honor, virtue, and so forth; and
while secretly applying them--for I was not inclined to make ill-natured
remarks--in contrast to the failings of those around me, I naturally
learned to identify myself with the aforesaid sentiments, and to take it
for granted it was I who shone so brightly at other people's expense.
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