15. This was the result; and thereupon my father took me back.
Then the physicians visited me again. All gave me up; they said
I was also consumptive. This gave me little or no concern; what
distressed me were the pains I had--for I was in pain from my
head down to my feet. Now, nervous pains, according to the
physicians, are intolerable; and all my nerves were shrunk.
Certainly, if I had not brought this upon myself by my sins, the
torture would have been unendurable.

16. I was not more than three months in this cruel distress, for
it seemed impossible that so many ills could be borne together.
I now am astonished at myself, and the patience His Majesty gave
me--for it clearly came from Him--I look upon as a great mercy of
our Lord. It was a great help to me to be patient, that I had
read the story of Job, in the Morals of St. Gregory (our Lord
seems to have prepared me thereby); and that I had begun the
practice of prayer, so that I might bear it all, conforming my
will to the will of God. All my conversation was with God.
I had continually these words of Job in my thoughts and in my
mouth: "If we have received good things of the hand of our Lord,
why should we not receive evil things?" [9] This seemed to give
me courage.

17. The feast of our Lady, in August, came round; from April
until then I had been in great pain, but more especially during
the last three months. I made haste to go to confession, for I
had always been very fond of frequent confession. They thought I
was driven by the fear of death; and so my father, in order to
quiet me, would not suffer me to go. Oh, the unreasonable love