2. The only comfort I had was this--if no one came near me, my
pains frequently ceased; and then, because I had a little rest, I
considered myself well, for I was afraid my patience would fail:
and thus I was exceedingly happy when I saw myself free from
those pains which were so sharp and constant, though in the cold
fits of an intermittent fever, which were most violent, they were
still unendurable. My dislike of food was very great.

3. I was now so anxious to return to my monastery, that I had
myself conveyed thither in the state I was in. There they
received alive one whom they had waited for as dead; but her body
was worse than dead: the sight of it could only give pain. It is
impossible to describe my extreme weakness, for I was nothing but
bones. I remained in this state, as I have already said, [2]
more than eight months; and was paralytic, though getting better,
for about three years. I praised God when I began to crawl on my
hands and knees. I bore all this with great resignation, and, if
I except the beginning of my illness, with great joy; for all
this was as nothing in comparison with the pains and tortures I
had to bear at first. I was resigned to the will of God, even if
He left me in this state for ever. My anxiety about the recovery
of my health seemed to be grounded on my desire to pray in
solitude, as I had been taught; for there were no means of doing
so in the infirmary. I went to confession most frequently, spoke
much about God, and in such a way as to edify everyone; and they
all marvelled at the patience which our Lord gave me--for if it
had not come from the hand of His Majesty, it seemed impossible
to endure so great an affliction with so great a joy.

4. It was a great thing for me to have had the grace of prayer