which God had wrought in me; it made me understand what it is to
love Him. In a little while, I saw these virtues renewed within
me; still they were not strong, for they were not sufficient to
sustain me in justice. I never spoke ill in the slightest degree
whatever of any one, and my ordinary practice was to avoid all
detraction; for I used to keep most carefully in mind that I
ought not to assent to, nor say of another, anything I should not
like to have said of myself. I was extremely careful to keep
this resolution on all occasions though not so perfectly, upon
some great occasions that presented themselves, as not to break
it sometimes. But my ordinary practice was this: and thus those
who were about me, and those with whom I conversed, became so
convinced that it was right, that they adopted it as a habit.
It came to be understood that where I was, absent persons were
safe; so they were also with my friends and kindred, and with
those whom I instructed. Still, for all this, I have a strict
account to give unto God for the bad example I gave in other
respects. May it please His Majesty to forgive me, for I have
been the cause of much evil; though not with intentions as
perverse as were the acts that followed.

5. The longing for solitude remained, and I loved to discourse
and speak of God; for if I found any one with whom I could do so,
it was a greater joy and satisfaction to me than all the
refinements--or rather to speak more correctly, the real
rudeness--of the world's conversation. I communicated and
confessed more frequently still, and desired to do so; I was
extremely fond of reading good books; I was most deeply penitent
for having offended God; and I remember that very often I did not
dare to pray, because I was afraid of that most bitter anguish