Lord? The life we live is so full of danger! While I am writing
this--and it seems to me, too, by Thy grace and mercy--I may say
with St. Paul, though not so truly as he did: "It is not I who
live now, but Thou, my Creator, livest in me." [4] For some
years past, so it seems to me, Thou hast held me by the hand; and
I see in myself desires and resolutions--in some measure tested
by experience, in many ways, during that time--never to do
anything, however slight it may be, contrary to Thy will, though
I must have frequently offended Thy Divine Majesty without being
aware of it; and I also think that nothing can be proposed to me
that I should not with great resolution undertake for Thy love.
In some things Thou hast Thyself helped me to succeed therein.
I love neither the world, nor the things of the world; nor do I
believe that anything that does not come from Thee can give me
pleasure; everything else seems to me a heavy cross.

15. Still, I may easily deceive myself, and it may be that I am
not what I say I am; but Thou knowest, O my Lord, that, to the
best of my knowledge, I lie not. I am afraid, and with good
reason, lest Thou shouldst abandon me; for I know now how far my
strength and little virtue can reach, if Thou be not ever at hand
to supply them, and to help me never to forsake Thee. May His
Majesty grant that I be not forsaken of Thee even now, when I am
thinking all this of myself!

16. I know not how we can wish to live, seeing that everything is
so uncertain. Once, O Lord, I thought it impossible to forsake
Thee so utterly; and now that I have forsaken Thee so often, I
cannot help being afraid; for when Thou didst withdraw but a
little from me, I fell down to the ground at once. Blessed for