Chapter VII.


Lukewarmness. The Loss of Grace. Inconvenience of Laxity in
Religious Houses.


1. So, then, going on from pastime to pastime, from vanity to
vanity, from one occasion of sin to another, I began to expose
myself exceedingly to the very greatest dangers: my soul was so
distracted by many vanities, that I was ashamed to draw near unto
God in an act of such special friendship as that of prayer. [1]
As my sins multiplied, I began to lose the pleasure and comfort I
had in virtuous things: and that loss contributed to the
abandonment of prayer. I see now most clearly, O my Lord, that
this comfort departed from me because I had departed from Thee.

2. It was the most fearful delusion into which Satan could plunge
me--to give up prayer under the pretence of humility. I began to
be afraid of giving myself to prayer, because I saw myself so
lost. I thought it would be better for me, seeing that in my
wickedness I was one of the most wicked, to live like the
multitude--to say the prayers which I was bound to say, and that
vocally: not to practise mental prayer nor commune with God so
much; for I deserved to be with the devils, and was deceiving
those who were about me, because I made an outward show of
goodness; and therefore the community in which I dwelt is not to