death that he died, and the desire he had to die; so also was the
advice he gave us after the last anointing, how he charged us to
recommend him to God, and to pray for mercy for him, how he bade
us serve God always, and consider how all things come to an end.
He told us with tears how sorry he was that he had not served Him
himself; for he wished he was a friar--I mean, that he had been
one in the Strictest Order that is. I have a most assured
conviction that our Lord, some fifteen days before, had revealed
to him he was not to live; for up to that time, though very ill,
he did not think so; but now, though he was somewhat better, and
the physicians said so, he gave no heed to them, but employed
himself in the ordering of his soul.

24. His chief suffering consisted in a most acute pain of the
shoulders, which never left him: it was so sharp at times, that
it put him into great torture. I said to him, that as he had so
great a devotion to our Lord carrying His cross on His shoulders,
he should now think that His Majesty wished him to feel somewhat
of that pain which He then suffered Himself. This so comforted
him, that I do not think I heard him complain afterwards.

25. He remained three days without consciousness; but on the day
he died, our Lord restored him so completely, that we were
astonished: he preserved his understanding to the last; for in
the middle of the creed, which he repeated himself, he died.
He lay there like an angel--such he seemed to me, if I may say
so, both in soul and disposition: he was very good.

26. I know not why I have said this, unless it be for the purpose
of showing how much the more I am to be blamed for my wickedness;