Commanded Her to Describe.


1. I used to have at times, as I have said, [1] though it used to
pass quickly away--certain commencements of that which I am going
now to describe. When I formed those pictures within myself of
throwing myself at the feet of Christ, as I said before, [2] and
sometimes even when I was reading, a feeling of the presence of
God would come over me unexpectedly, so that I could in no wise
doubt either that He was within me, or that I was wholly absorbed
in Him. It was not by way of vision; I believe it was what is
called mystical theology. The soul is suspended in such a way
that it seems to be utterly beside itself. The will loves; the
memory, so it seems to me, is as it were lost; and the
understanding, so I think, makes no reflections--yet is not lost:
as I have just said, it is not at work, but it stands as if
amazed at the greatness of the things it understands; for God
wills it to understand that it understands nothing whatever of
that which His Majesty places before it.

2. Before this, I had a certain tenderness of soul which was very
abiding, partially attainable, I believe, in some measure, by our
own efforts: a consolation which is not wholly in the senses, nor
yet altogether in the spirit, but is all of it the gift of God.
However, I think we can contribute much towards the attaining of
it by considering our vileness and our ingratitude towards
God--the great things He has done for us--His Passion, with its
grievous pains--and His life, so full of sorrows; also, by
rejoicing in the contemplation of His works, of His greatness,
and of the love that He bears us. Many other considerations