1. In those days, when I was thus resolved, I had persuaded one
of my brothers, [1] by speaking to him of the vanity of the
world, to become a friar; and we agreed together to set out one
day very early in the morning for the monastery where that friend
of mine lived for whom I had so great an affection: [2] though I
would have gone to any other monastery, if I thought I should
serve God better in it, or to any one my father liked, so strong
was my resolution now to become a nun--for I thought more of the
salvation of my soul now, and made no account whatever of mine
own ease. I remember perfectly well, and it is quite true, that
the pain I felt when I left my father's house was so great, that
I do not believe the pain of dying will be greater--for it seemed
to me as if every bone in my body were wrenched asunder; [3] for,
as I had no love of God to destroy my love of father and of
kindred, this latter love came upon me with a violence so great
that, if our Lord had not been my keeper, my own resolution to go
on would have failed me. But He gave me courage to fight against
myself, so that I executed my purpose. [4]

2. When I took the habit, [5] our Lord at once made me understand
how He helps those who do violence to themselves in order to
serve Him. No one observed this violence in me; they saw nothing
but the greatest good will. At that moment, because I was
entering on that state, I was filled with a joy so great, that it
has never failed me to this day; and God converted the aridity of
my soul into the greatest tenderness. Everything in religion was
a delight unto me; and it is true that now and then I used to
sweep the house during those hours of the day which I had
formerly spent on my amusements and my dress; and, calling to
mind that I was delivered from such follies, I was filled with a