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Gargantua and Pantagruel, Illustrated, Book 2 by François Rabelais
page 76 of 151 (50%)
thee into service to be wiper to Don Pedro de Castile; wipe, only wipe, and
no more. The poor fox wiped as hard as he could, here and there, within
and without; but the false old trot did so fizzle and fist that she stunk
like a hundred devils, which put the poor fox to a great deal of ill ease,
for he knew not to what side to turn himself to escape the unsavoury
perfume of this old woman's postern blasts. And whilst to that effect he
was shifting hither and thither, without knowing how to shun the annoyance
of those unwholesome gusts, he saw that behind there was yet another hole,
not so great as that which he did wipe, out of which came this filthy and
infectious air. The lion at last returned, bringing with him of moss more
than eighteen packs would hold, and began to put into the wound with a
staff which he had provided for that purpose, and had already put in full
sixteen packs and a half, at which he was amazed. What a devil! said he,
this wound is very deep; it would hold above two cartloads of moss. The
fox, perceiving this, said unto the lion, O gossip lion, my friend, I pray
thee do not put in all thy moss there; keep somewhat, for there is yet here
another little hole, that stinks like five hundred devils; I am almost
choked with the smell thereof, it is so pestiferous and empoisoning.

Thus must these walls be kept from the flies, and wages allowed to some for
wiping of them. Then said Pantagruel, How dost thou know that the privy
parts of women are at such a cheap rate? For in this city there are many
virtuous, honest, and chaste women besides the maids. Et ubi prenus? said
Panurge. I will give you my opinion of it, and that upon certain and
assured knowledge. I do not brag that I have bumbasted four hundred and
seventeen since I came into this city, though it be but nine days ago; but
this very morning I met with a good fellow, who, in a wallet such as
Aesop's was, carried two little girls of two or three years old at the
most, one before and the other behind. He demanded alms of me, but I made
him answer that I had more cods than pence. Afterwards I asked him, Good
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