"They want me to hang a bag on the side of the accounting
system."

:bagbiter: /bag'bi:t-*r/ /n./ 1. Something, such as a program
or a computer, that fails to work, or works in a remarkably clumsy
manner. "This text editor won't let me make a file with a line
longer than 80 characters! What a bagbiter!" 2. A person who has
caused you some trouble, inadvertently or otherwise, typically by
failing to program the computer properly. Synonyms: {loser},
{cretin}, {chomper}. 3. `bite the bag' /vi./ To fail in some
manner. "The computer keeps crashing every five minutes."
"Yes, the disk controller is really biting the bag." The
original loading of these terms was almost undoubtedly obscene,
possibly referring to the scrotum, but in their current usage they
have become almost completely sanitized.

ITS's `lexiphage' program was the first and to date only known
example of a program *intended* to be a bagbiter.

:bagbiting: /adj./ Having the quality of a {bagbiter}.
"This bagbiting system won't let me compute the factorial of a
negative number." Compare {losing}, {cretinous},
{bletcherous}, `barfucious' (under {barfulous}) and
`chomping' (under {chomp}).

:balloonian variable: /n./ [Commodore users; perh. a deliberate
phonetic mangling of `boolean variable'?] Any variable that
doesn't actually hold or control state, but must nevertheless be
declared, checked, or set. A typical balloonian variable started
out as a flag attached to some environment feature that either