have a drink? Thanks awfully and all that sort of rot. Yes, it's rather
funny, considering what I came to tell you. Jolly old Caffyn has given
me a small part in that musical comedy of his, 'Ask Dad.' Only a bit,
you know, but quite tolerably ripe. I'm feeling frightfully braced,
don't you know!"

He drank his drink, and went on. He didn't seem to notice that I wasn't
jumping about the room, yapping with joy.

"You know, I've always wanted to go on the stage, you know," he said.
"But my jolly old guv'nor wouldn't stick it at any price. Put the old
Waukeesi down with a bang, and turned bright purple whenever the
subject was mentioned. That's the real reason why I came over here, if
you want to know. I knew there wasn't a chance of my being able to work
this stage wheeze in London without somebody getting on to it and
tipping off the guv'nor, so I rather brainily sprang the scheme of
popping over to Washington to broaden my mind. There's nobody to
interfere on this side, you see, so I can go right ahead!"

I tried to reason with the poor chump.

"But your guv'nor will have to know some time."

"That'll be all right. I shall be the jolly old star by then, and he
won't have a leg to stand on."

"It seems to me he'll have one leg to stand on while he kicks me with
the other."

"Why, where do you come in? What have you got to do with it?"