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The Politeness of Princes - and Other School Stories by P. G. (Pelham Grenville) Wodehouse
page 26 of 114 (22%)
Wrykyn Branch of Ring's Come-one Come-all Up-to-date Stores.

The sensation among the tradesmen caused by the invasion was, as may
be imagined, immense and painful. The thing was a public disaster. It
resembled the advent of a fox in a fowl-run. For years the tradesmen
of Wrykyn had jogged along in their comfortable way, each making his
little profits, with no thought of competition or modern hustle. And
now the enemy was at their doors. Many were the gloomy looks cast at
the gaudy building as it grew like a mushroom. It was finished with
incredible speed, and then advertisements began to flood the local
papers. A special sheaf of bills was despatched to the school.

Dunstable got hold of one, and read it with interest. Then he went in
search of his friend Linton to find out what he thought of it.

Linton was at work in the laboratory. He was an enthusiastic, but
unskilful, chemist. The only thing he could do with any real certainty
was to make oxygen. But he had ambitions beyond that feat, and was
continually experimenting in a reckless way which made the chemistry
master look wan and uneasy. He was bending over a complicated mixture
of tubes, acids, and Bunsen burners when Dunstable found him. It was
after school, so that the laboratory was empty, but for them.

"Don't mind me," said Dunstable, taking a seat on the table.

"Look out, man, don't jog. Sit tight, and I'll broaden your mind for
you. I take this bit of litmus paper, and dip it into this bilge, and
if I've done it right, it'll turn blue."

"Then I bet it doesn't," said Dunstable.
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