tore it open.

"'George, old man,' I said, 'your hand.'

"He looked at me a full minute. Then with a horrible, mirthless laugh
he fell to the ground, and expired almost instantly. You will readily
guess what killed him. The poem had been returned, _but without a
rejection form!_"




THE NEW ADVERTISING


"In Denmark," said the man of ideas, coming into the smoking room, "I
see that they have original ideas on the subject of advertising.
According to the usually well-informed Daily Lyre, all 'bombastic'
advertising is punished with a fine. The advertiser is expected to
describe his wares in restrained, modest language. In case this idea
should be introduced into England, I have drawn up a few specimen
advertisements which, in my opinion, combine attractiveness with a
shrinking modesty at which no censor could cavil."

And in spite of our protests, he began to read us his first effort,
descriptive of a patent medicine.

"It runs like this," he said:

Timson's Tonic for Distracted Deadbeats