"It is a hard task," answered I, "that I have imposed upon myself. I
foresaw its difficulties, and this foresight has hitherto prevented me
from undertaking it; but the necessity by which I am impelled will no
longer be withstood. I am determined to go; but to say why is
impossible. I hope I shall not bring upon myself the imputation of
ingratitude; but this imputation, more intolerable than any other, must
be borne, if it cannot be avoided but by this disclosure.

"Keep your motives to yourself," said she. "I have too good an opinion
of you to suppose that you would practise concealment without good
reason. I merely desire you to remain where you are. Since you will not
tell me why you take up this new scheme, I can only say that it is
impossible there should be any advantage in this scheme. I will not hear
of it, I tell you. Therefore, submit to my decree with a good grace."

Notwithstanding this prohibition, I persisted in declaring that my
determination was fixed, and that the motives that governed me would
allow of no alternative.

"So, you will go, will you, whether I will or no? I have no power to
detain you? You will regard nothing that I can say?"

"Believe me, madam, no resolution ever was formed after a more vehement
struggle. If my motives were known, you would not only cease to oppose,
but would hasten, my departure. Honour me so far with your good opinion
as to believe that, in saying this, I say nothing but the truth, and
render my duty less burdensome by cheerfully acquiescing in its
dictates."

"I would," replied the lady, "I could find somebody that has more power