laws, learning, and religion; their plants and animals; their
peculiar manners and customs, with other matters very curious and
useful; my chief design at present being only to relate such events
and transactions as happened to the public or to myself during a
residence of about nine months in that empire.

One morning, about a fortnight after I had obtained my liberty,
Reldresal, principal secretary (as they style him) for private
affairs, came to my house attended only by one servant. He ordered
his coach to wait at a distance, and desired I would give him an
hours audience; which I readily consented to, on account of his
quality and personal merits, as well as of the many good offices he
had done me during my solicitations at court. I offered to lie
down that he might the more conveniently reach my ear, but he chose
rather to let me hold him in my hand during our conversation. He
began with compliments on my liberty; said "he might pretend to
some merit in it;" but, however, added, "that if it had not been
for the present situation of things at court, perhaps I might not
have obtained it so soon. For," said he, "as flourishing a
condition as we may appear to be in to foreigners, we labour under
two mighty evils: a violent faction at home, and the danger of an
invasion, by a most potent enemy, from abroad. As to the first,
you are to understand, that for about seventy moons past there have
been two struggling parties in this empire, under the names of
Tramecksan and Slamecksan, from the high and low heels of their
shoes, by which they distinguish themselves. It is alleged,
indeed, that the high heels are most agreeable to our ancient
constitution; but, however this be, his majesty has determined to
make use only of low heels in the administration of the government,
and all offices in the gift of the crown, as you cannot but