buoyant, and void on my shoulders. I was conscious of the gaping vacuum in
my skull with every fibre of my being. I seemed to myself to be hollowed
out from top and toe.

In my pain I cried: "Lord, my God and Father!" and repeated this cry many
times at a stretch, without adding one word more.

The wind soughed through the trees; a storm was brewing. I sat a while
longer, and gazed at my paper, lost in thought, then folded it up and put
it slowly into my pocket. It got chilly; and I no longer owned a
waistcoat. I buttoned my coat right up to my throat and thrust my hands in
my pockets; thereupon I rose and went on.

If I had only succeeded this time, just this once. Twice my landlady had
asked me with her eyes for payment, and I was obliged to hang my head and
slink past her with a shamefaced air. I could not do it again: the very
next time I met those eyes I would give warning and account for myself
honestly. Well, any way, things could not last long at this rate.

On coming to the exit of the park I saw the old chap I had put to flight.
The mysterious new paper parcel lay opened on the seat next him, filled
with different sorts of victuals, of which he ate as he sat. I immediately
wanted to go over and ask pardon for my conduct, but the sight of food
repelled me. The decrepit fingers looked like ten claws as they clutched
loathsomely at the greasy bread and butter; I felt qualmish, and passed by
without addressing him. He did not recognize me; his eyes stared at me,
dry as horn, and his face did not move a muscle.

And so I went on my way.