attract attention, as if corned beef or salt port was not meet food for
me. After that I went towards the railway station.

A singular sense of confusion suddenly darted through my head. I stumbled
on, determined not to heed it; but I grew worse and worse, and was forced
at last to sit down on a step. My whole being underwent a change, as if
something had slid aside in my inner self, or as if a curtain or tissue of
my brain was rent in two.

I was not unconscious; I felt that my ear was gathering a little, and, as
an acquaintance passed by, I recognized him at once and got up and bowed.

What sore of fresh, painful perception was this that was being added to
the rest? Was it a consequence of sleeping in the sodden fields, or did it
arise from my not having had any breakfast yet? Looking the whole thing
squarely in the face, there was no meaning in living on in this manner, by
Christ's holy pains, there wasn't. I failed to see either how I had made
myself deserving of this special persecution; and it suddenly entered my
head that I might just as well turn rogue at once and go to my "Uncle's"
with the blanket. I could pawn it for a shilling, and get three full
meals, and so keep myself going until I thought of something else. 'Tis
true I would have to swindle Hans Pauli. I was already on my way to the
pawn-shop, but stopped outside the door, shook my head irresolutely, then
turned back. The farther away I got the more gladsome, ay, delighted I
became, that I had conquered this strong temptation. The consciousness
that I was yet pure and honourable rose to my head, filled me with a
splendid sense of having principle, character, of being a shining white
beacon in a muddy, human sea amidst floating wreck.

Pawn another man's property for the sake of a meal, eat and drink one's