the exercise of forethought or industry; I walked and sat, went out
and returned for as long and at what seasons I thought proper, yet
my condition was a fertile source of discontent.

I felt myself removed to a comfortless and chilling distance
from Ludloe. I wanted to share in his occupations and views. With
all his ingenuousness of aspect and overflow of thoughts, when he
allowed me his company, I felt myself painfully bewildered with
regard to his genuine condition and sentiments.

He had it in his power to introduce me to society, and without
an introduction, it was scarcely possible to gain access to any
social circle or domestic fireside. Add to this, my own obscure
prospects and dubious situation. Some regular intellectual pursuit
would render my state less irksome, but I had hitherto adopted no
scheme of this kind.



Chapter V.


Time tended, in no degree, to alleviate my dissatisfaction.
It increased till the determination became at length formed of
opening my thoughts to Ludloe. At the next breakfast interview
which took place, I introduced the subject, and expatiated without
reserve, on the state of my feelings. I concluded with entreating
him to point out some path in which my talents might be rendered
useful to himself or to mankind.